Dealing with teens
by mindblock
Summary: Summary inside, warnings: language, mentions of sex, yaoi, AU, OOC, OC, M-preg


Dealing with teens

**Rating:** T-M (language, mentions of sex, yaoi, m-preg, ooc, au, oc)

**!!!Something important!!!:** _For those who don't know the plot of '**Family business'**_: This is AU, grimmjow and ulquiorra are lovers, they have a biological daughter due to Szyel's invention of pills who can make a male capable of getting pregnant. Her name is Melany and she is my OC, her pictures are on my dA(link on the profile). Just one more thing- please pretend that people don't age physically wile you read this. Imagine that grimm and ulqui are physically still 25. Kay ;D It'd be weird otherwise...

(I don't own bleach(Grimmjow, Ulquiorra and szyel))

* * *

They were sitting in the kitchen and eating ice cream (actually stuffing it into each others mouth and then making out hungrily). Melany was out though she should be back already. A little moan escaped ulquiorra, he was sitting on Grimmjow's lap, Grimmjow touching him all over hotly, their tongues playing together in a mix of vanilla ice cream and saliva.

Suddenly Melany burst through the door cursing. Ulquiorra had a white trace of ice cream running down his chin and grimmjow was just licking it off.  
They looked at her. Her make up was slightly messy as usual, she was barefoot, carrying her four-inch heels in her one hand and her purse in the other. She threw the shoes up and sent them across the apartment with her bruised foot yelling something at them. Then she threw the purse onto the couch, walked around the bar and sank into the chair on the other side of the table.  
Ulquiotrra got off of Grimmjow's lap, sat on the free chair between them and tossed her a full bowl of ice cream.

..."I don't want vanilla." She whined.

"What's your problem?" Grimmjow asked smirking.

"...I want sex." She said emotionlessly, just to get rid of him. That was at least something that was always implicit.

"When you're 20. End of conversation."

"Yeah, easy for you to say, you get nice fuck every night!" Grimmjow smirked.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because I can hear him screaming, jerk!" Ulquiorra smirked.

"Well, we have a right to do it because we're '_grown-ups_'." He said teasingly, she frowned.

"And besides, you should be sleeping by then young lady."

"Heh, and what if you wake me up?" Grimmjow smiled to himself licking the spoon clean. She was bluffing, heavily. But he wanted to see where would she get herself with it. Ulquiorra knew it too, and he knew Grimmjow had something in mind.

"And pull your shirt up, I can see your tits." Grimmjow said blankly.

...

"...and...I _don't wanna_ see them." He said when she didn't respond in any kind of way.

"Tch, are you sure?" She teased checking out her awesome new breasts.

"I'm your _dad_ sicko! I know I'm hot but..."

"Fuck you!"

"Watch your mouth honey."

"Oh yeah? You know how much you curse when your dick is up his little ass!" That one got Ulquiorra's attention. It was true that Grimmjow cursed a lot while they had sex. Maybe she could really hear them...

"You're lying." Grimmjow said mater of factly, and stuffed the spoon into his mouth. She was surprised.

"You don't hear me, cause I don't do it." He smirked.

The truth was, Grimmjow did curse but she didn't know that cause she couldn't hear it, she was guessing. Actually she could barely hear anything, she was bluffing the whole time.  
She was puzzled. How did he... Damn he won... than again, he always wins. Grimmjow grinned. The face expression betrayed her. He tricked her, he was bluffing too. He also wasn't sure if she was telling the truth but Grimmjow knew when to take a risk. Ulquiorra smirked.

"How do you do that?" She hissed giving Grimmjow a death glare.

"You know what he is?" He asked pointing at Ulquiorra.

"...an architect." She mumbled.

"Exactly! You know, the walls aren't so thick here without a reason."

Damn! It was a fact, he remembered that the walls are thick and he counted on it. She could never beat him at this.  
Grimmjow smiled guessing what she was thinking. She looked at him blushing a little. He won the battle but he won't win the war!

"Whatever, I'm NOT waiting another 5 years!" Grimmjow smiled.

"Lemme tell you something. Ulqui and I firs had sex, together, when we were like..."

"21" Ulquiorra interrupted.

"Yeah 21. And you know what happened? We got _you_. And that's not something you want for yourself." He teased.

"Shut up!" she said "And besides it's different, Ulquiorra didn't know that he was a girl."

"I'm not a girl." Ulquiorra said matter of factly and continued to eat the ice cream.

"Yeah whatever, you didn't know that Fruitcake gave you the pill. So you weren't using protection. I'm well aware that I can get pregnant..."

"No you can't cause you can't have sex with anyone." Grimmjow said blankly.

"What? Why not?" She was confused.

„Because I said so."

"Fuck you, all of my friends had sex!" She was worked up now.

"No, they haven't."

"...What?! How do you know that?" How did he know that she was lying?...OH FUCK!  
Grimmjow burst into laughter as her face deformed in horror. Again?!!!!!!! He was bluffing again!!! She couldn't believe it, how... did that happen? She was miserable and pissed to the point of crying.

"Calm down Melany, I'm teasing, okay?...Can't get worked up so easily. If you stayed calm you would see through it."

He was right, damn. She took a deep breath "...fine." Grimmjow smiled. "What ever you say..." She put a spoon of ice cream into her mouth.

...

"I was kidding Melany." He said smiling to her.

"What?"

"I said i was kidding, you don't have to wait so long." Her eyes widened.

"You're a good girl, and you're smart." Ulquiorra said. "Daddy and I trust you, remember that." He smiled.

"And for your own good, wait until you find someone special. And then just be careful, ok?" She looked down, it... sorta... touched her.

"You're so childish..." She mumbled at Grimmjow who grinned. Ulquiorra smirked.

"You should be happy you have a dad like him, he understands your lust for gummy bears." He commented and grimmjow burst into laughter. Melany opened her mouth in shock and piss-offness again.

"I...do **not**... lust for gummy bears!!!" now they both laughed.

"Sure you don't, that's why they're all gone right?"

"Noooo, my boyfriend came over and we ate gummy bears and made out, like you did just now with ice cream. That's it, ok?"

"Sure it is..." Grimmjow answered "...wait, did you see that from us?!"

"Maybe..."

"Hey, that was my trick!" He whined.

"I know, 'n' it's damn good." She smirked "Those jelly bears make you feel like you have five tongues in your mouth not just two..."

...

"Hey Ulqui," Grimjow called and grinned "I just got an idea..."

"Ok! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!" Melany interrupted and got off of her chair. "I'm out of here people, good night."

" 'Night honey." Ulquiorra said and kissed her forehead. Grimmjow ruffled her hair.

"YOU RUINED MY HAIR!!!!!!!" She screamed in horror.

"What hair, you look like a broom."

Her eyes widened and she took a deep breath.

"That's it, I'm not buying this shit any more. My hair is awesome... **was** awesome and you fuck yourself." She said calmly and left.

... Grimmjow glanced at Ulquiorra-

"She's got PMS..." He explained. "Now, what was that idea you got?"

* * *

Lol! Someone's got PMS

:P This just hung in my head for months and I couldn't ignore it. Tell me what ya think ^^ please...


End file.
